Money

Today I'm feeling frustrated in my career. It started when I saw, quite accidentally, an ad for a public transportation services communication assistant (yes, I know that doesn't mean much - but essentially they wanted someone to help soothe angry people when the trains are running slow, and write little articles for the internal newsletter). The qualifications were a bachelor's degree and the salary was three times what I make.

I didn't realize, when I chose to go into environmental, non-profit work, exactly how non-profit it was. I always wanted to have an environmental career, and I loved studying ecology in college, and I turned down a couple of soulless jobs so that I could hold out for one that I felt would help me make a difference.

Now I have that job, and most days it's great. But. I am earning less money than anyone I know. I am earning less money than before I went to grad school. It frustrates me because while my fiance is on a good career track, I don't want to count on him financially. I should be capable of paying my own way - but I am not, and it's not a matter of not working hard enough or not being smart enough, because I do work hard, and I am bright, but I'm still not earning enough money for us ever to qualify for a mortgage (his paycheck isn't enough to make up for mine being so far below average). And as important as the environment is to me, having a home and a family is also important to me. I feel upset thinking that I may not be able to have those things, and it's my own damn fault.