Thursday, April 27, 2006

How to be Happy

I read recently that many people confuse pleasure and happiness. Pleasure is a fleeting sense of joy in response to a sensation, while happiness is the underlying state of being. The book went on to note that people who are habitually optimists tend to be happier, and they live longer. It advised that you should practice thinking optimistic thoughts and consciously become a happy person.

I'm not so sure it works that way. Maybe your personal capacity for happiness is something you are born with, like brown hair or attached earlobes - not what you strive to be, but who you are. (Of course, maybe I think that because I am not practicing optimism hard enough!)

But really, it seems foolish to practice thinking these optimistic thoughts, if they are not my true feelings about a situation, or especially if they will hold me back from recognizing real problems and doing something about them.

It reminds me of the parenting strategy I witnessed once, of a couple who would not give their young daughter things she wanted unless she professed to be happy. "I'm haaaapppy!" she would sob, tears rolling down her cheeks.

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