Being 'Soft'

I wage an intermittent war with myself about being too much of a pushover. I'm a habitual avoider of confrontation, even the mild sort like delegating work to someone else to do - it just makes my heart pound to think about it. I'd rather do it myself than give orders. I think it hurts me in the long run because lots of people think they can walk over me - and they are so right. They can. At times I practically lie down in the road and say, "c'mon, step right there," all to avoid being yelled at.

It's not a totally self-defeating strategy, from an animal behavior point of view. I will never make it very far up the ranks. But, it does give me a reputation for being easy to work with. And it seems to win me friends among the other low-ranking females. I went to dinner with an old friend the other night, a really nice girl who, like me, is shy to an extreme. We were having a heart-to-heart and she told me that she feels "very safe" with me. And hearing that just made me so happy. Who cares about being the alpha? I would rather be trusted, any day.