Thursday, October 13, 2005

Return of the Rents

Yay! My parents are back from their trip to China. I worried about them while they were gone because it was such a long time, and they were planning to call and email periodically but we didn't hear from them at all. But they're back now and fine, and had a wonderful time.

I always worry when people I love are away on trips. It feels like being hungry - it's an awareness of emptiness. There's something of the ordeal about it too ("just three more days...just two more..."). I feel like if I was with them, I could protect them from whatever fate has in store - the speeding car, the stranger with influenza who is going to cough at the wrong time. Not being there means I'm totally helpless and I just have to trust that they will come home safe.

My mother sounded older on the phone, hoarser than usual. Someday my parents won't be around any more. Thinking about that makes me feel panicky because I can't imagine being OK with that.

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