Thursday, October 06, 2005

A Confession

I don't really like cooking. I'd rather scrub the floor, wash dishes, sweep, reorganize the tupperware cabinet, even clean the guinea pig cage, than cook a meal. On occasion I have come home and cleaned the entire apartment as a procrastination technique, when I was supposed to be making dinner.

I know that lots of other people enjoy cooking, and on the surface there is lots to enjoy about it: the tastes, the textures, the smells, the feeling of crisp clean competence as you slice green pepper on a cutting board. If you're following a recipe, it can be like putting a kit together - mix this, stir that, follow the directions till you reach the magical synergy of ingredients. Then, bonus! You get to eat it!

My theory is that I'm intimidated by the unknown factors in cooking. It's like writing - you never know quite how it will come out, and it takes some creative energy to look at the ingredients in the fridge and figure out a tasty way to combine them. It's a lot easier just to be the editor, washing up afterwards in a predetermined routine.

My alternate theory is that I'm just not sensual enough to appreciate cooking as a pleasure in and of itself. To me, meals are nourishing and necessary, but I'm not really into the subtleties of flavors. All those little greenish-brown spices in the cupboard are the same as far as I'm concerned. So maybe I miss out on the true chef's delight at savoring the cilantro (not dill! heavens, no!) in a particular dish.

My friend, who like me isn't into cooking, and who like me has a boy who is an excellent cook, just lets him do all the cooking. She does all the cleaning up. I wish I could take this route. To me, cooking is twice the chore that cleaning up is, so I think it wouldn't be fair. Besides, it's good to switch around who does what, to build in appreciation of the other person's duties. Besides, if I don't practice I'll never get better.

Last night I made a mushroom and cheese polenta that wasn't bad. This weekend, I will take a stab at dumplings and a coffeecake.

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