Birthday Cake

It's funny how loving people can sometimes make you so sad.

Yesterday was my brother's birthday, so I went over after work and spent the evening with my folks. We had a nice dinner together and my brother opened his presents. He seemed in good spirits.

It wasn't as big a deal as my birthday was a few months ago, though. For my birthday, my dad planned a big party and invited all my friends over, but he didn't do anything special for my brother. Partly because my parents just got home after being out of town for three weeks. Partly because my dad knows a lot of my friends and has hung out with them and had their contact info, but he doesn't know my brother's friends. Partly I think my dad just doesn't connect as well with my brother as he does with me. I feel weird and guilty about this. I hate favoritism.

My mom picked up the slack a little bit, cooked him a special dinner and had the dining room decorated, and like I said he seemed cheerful. The disparity still made me wince. I would have been happy with a small family party like the one last night, I didn't need a fancy one. I love my brother dearly, and I don't ever want him to feel like he is less important than I am. My dad loves him dearly too. I wanted to tell him these things, but they're not easily put in words. I hope he just knows.