Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Worry, With a Side of Doubt

I've been worrying a lot about money lately. It's all just because I've moved up in the life bracket. Like tax brackets - you jump up to the next income level and suddenly the taxes are a lot fiercer. I was in the late-twenties-young-professional bracket, which is characterized by intermittent employment, a lot of transient living situations, Internet dating, and periodically having to go back to your parents' house to do laundry and pick up your mail. Not a lot of expectations because you're figuring things out.

Now I'm in the just-married-nesting bracket, which is all about investing in real estate and parenthood. I feel way behind the other people in this bracket. They already have their big houses in the suburbs and their pre-schoolers. I don't think we can afford to have either for a while. My job isn't prestigious enough, so I don't earn enough to pay my share of a mortgage, let alone childcare. And when I floated the idea of staying home with my kids to a friend, she just burst out laughing. "Honey, she thinks she can afford to stay home with the kids, and live in this area!" she told her husband, who also started laughing. Maybe that is only something Midwesterners can afford to do.

I never used to care about having a "prestigious" job. I guess before, it didn't matter because it was just me. Suddenly now I have responsibilities to my husband, to hold up my end of the finances, and to our future kids. Not earning very much money suddenly isn't OK any more.

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