Everyone keeps asking me if it feels any different being married. I usually say, not really. We've known each other and have been living together for a long time, so it's not as though it really changes the fabric of everyday life. But, there is a subtle difference. I feel more like we are a team now, more confident about making decisions together. I feel happy looking forward to our future, knowing that there will be one. Every time I look at him and see that ring on his finger - or hear him say the words "my wife" - I feel proud and excited, that we've made this commitment together.
There used to be a tension and an underlying feeling of sadness in our relationship, I think, that had to do with me wanting to move forward and being afraid he didn't feel the same way, and worrying that all the little things I did that were annoying or dumb were ultimately being tallied up against me in some cosmic subconscious decision-making process. He never gave me any reason to worry - it was just that I never knew where we stood, and I was afraid of thunderbolts from the blue. Now, that tension is gone, and I just feel simply...happy.
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