Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I Want Costly, Painful Surgery

...At least, I want to fix whatever's wrong with my foot. The night-time bunion regulator I bought ("especially designed for people who don't want costly, painful surgery") doesn't seem to be doing the job. The ball of my foot still aches when it's pressed against anything, like the inside of a shoe, and now the side of my foot seems to be hurting too. It's getting harder and harder for me to walk even short distances.

It's silly how much this bothers me. I have this sense that at my age I should be in perfect health, able to do anything I want, and even a minor limitation that isn't my fault frustrates me. I feel like, obscurely, it is my fault, that it's a moral weakness or something. I always feel this way about health issues. I should probably get over it because as I get older more stuff is going to go wrong, and it's dumb to beat myself up about it every time. It's not like the beating up will obviate the need for surgery, anyway. I'll probably still have to have that done. With lots of things in life, if you plan ahead and are smart, you can avoid consequences, but this isn't one of them.

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