Hole-Puncher Happiness

It is a truth universally acknowledged that it's more fulfilling to do things that are meaningful - like drafting policy, or negotiating contracts, or participating in coalitions - than it is to do the little maintaining-the-status-quo tasks that keep everything else running smoothly. Even my inner critic gives me a kick in the pants now and then, reminding me I should be moving up in the world. But the types of things I enjoy, honestly, are often really little things. It actually makes me happy to empty the hole puncher when it's all clogged up with punches, and put it back on the shelf clean and functional again. Or process the time sheets and file them away in the binder so if I ever need to look something up, I can do it at a moment's notice. Or fix up a document that's cluttered with spelling and formatting problems. What's wrong with me? I should want to WRITE the document, not fix it up! I should have my mind on higher things than the hole puncher. I am not supposed to enjoy those things. No one else around here does.

Yet the types of jobs that I yearn toward instinctively, for a moment or two, are often organizational and delivery jobs, like bike courier or mailroom clerk. I even wondered if it would be fun to work at the Department of Motor Vehicles (ditched that idea when it was finally my turn at the counter, and the girl who served me was so zombie-like and miserable she barely even made eye contact with me).

I think that deep down, part of the appeal is that those jobs are so clear-cut and simple, you can do them perfectly. You can deliver the envelope to the right address, and it's done, and no one could have done it better. Jobs that use more brain cells tend to be more subjective and there are lots of ways to go wrong, and you're never really done. Even if you think you are, part of your job is to keep coming up wtih fresh ideas and new ways to implement things. I love being creative, but on my own time - having it a job requirement makes me anxious.

So the goal of the decade, or one of them I think, is for me to come to terms with this aspect of my nature and find something I can do that is both satisfying to me in all the little ways, and also worthwhile in a larger sense, and also pays the bills, and also allows me to have self-respect and not mind telling other people about what I do. Cripes. That's probably most people's goal for their whole lives, and I doubt more than a small percentage ever achieve it.