Therapy Conversations

One job I wouldn't want is that of therapist. It's so much work trying to pull people up, when they're intent on dragging themselves down. I know what it's like from the other side, of course; I've spent lots of energy trying to 'prove' how miserable everything was, while patient friends argued with me. It feels weirdly satisfying, like biting a hangnail - hurts, but in a tingly way you want to explore, not in a way that makes you want to stop. Anyway, things are better now and I'm more often on the pulling-up side of the equation.

Talking to my dad today, I just kept wanting to say, "Don't look at it that way. Assume they will like you, and if they don't, so what? To hell with what they think!" etc. Actually most of my therapy-advice boils down to "Why do you care what other people think?" which is such a great mantra for life (yea Feynman). I mean, really. We're all so self-conscious and neurotic all the time. We would all be a lot happier if other people's opinions didn't matter so much to us. But I know that just deciding not to care isn't an option when you're in the situation (and this applies to me too). I guess a good therapist knows what to say so that people will find their own way to being capable of not caring. From where I am, it's like someone is asking for help getting over a brick wall, and I can't see a wall so I just keep saying unhelpfully, "Pretend there is no wall!"