Breaking the Taboo

I'm in my first cycle of fertility treatment. I feel like trumpeting the news to everyone. For some reason, it seems to be kind of a taboo topic - other people who are having fertility problems don't seem to talk about it, and people who are not having problems don't seem to want to know. I have the impression that if I do talk about it, I will just make them uncomfortable. One person I told (over email) responded to every other part of my email except for that bit of news, and another person I told (at a group dinner; we were sitting side by side) immediately turned away and began a conversation with the person on the other side, as though I hadn't spoken. I have to just assume that the topic made them uneasy and they didn't know how to respond.

I think when I mention to people that I'm doing fertility treatment, it's akin to saying, "I'm in pain. I have this great sadness in my life, and I'm trying to get help to fix it." I think the ideal response would be to recognize that pain and to express some kind of support. I guess what I'd like to hear is something like "I'm sorry you have to go through that. And I wish you luck." That would be nice.

Of course some of my friends have been wonderfully supportive. They do me the favor of asking periodically how it's going. I feel sometimes that I'm desperate to talk about it, because it's a big absorbing thing in my life. It's affecting a lot of facets of my daily existence, what with the pills and the injections and the waiting and hoping, so it's such a relief to be given permission to talk about it. One friend even confided that he and his wife are having similar problems but didn't know where to go, and I was able to recommend the fertility clinic I've been visiting.

My strongest support and ally through this whole process has been my best friend, the one who went to the same clinic and is now pregnant. We're easily capable of talking about this stuff for an hour at a time. It's amazing how much we have to say to each other about it. I still wish we were pregnant together, but I'm hoping we'll still have young babies around the same time.