Maybe my friend has the right idea after all. Just peck-peck-peck all the time, reminding her husband "that room will be the nursery, for when we have kids," "I'll cut my hours to part-time when we have kids, so you'll need to get a promotion by then," "we need to have both kids by the time I'm 30, so that means I'm pregnant by age 27." He just rolls his eyes and laughs and says "OK, OK." I always thought a better approach was not to say much about kids so as not to put any pressure on. Getting him to agree to marry me was hard enough. But at least my friend has been "softening up" her husband all this time. He's used to the idea. I'm married (finally), in a place in my career where I can afford to take a little time off, and I have some savings - thought just about all the hurdles were behind me. But he rolls his eyes like a startled horse when the subject of having kids comes up. There's no indication he's going to get readier over time, and meanwhile I'm just in a holding pattern. Arrrrrrrrgh.
A bigger question is probably why I routinely have to fight him to get him to do things for our mutual long-term happiness. We ought to be of like mind on these things. I'm not sure how much of it you can chalk up to "oh guys are always like that, they don't know what's good for them," and how much is really a discontinuity between us.
No comments:
Post a Comment