It's late at night. I'm typing away with the glow of the Christmas lights draped over the doorframe, and the whsssh of cars going by in the rain, for company. My man is out of town so I'll be taking care of our daughter by myself all weekend. Whenever this happens I get a kind of power trip - I feel strong, and excited, that I can actually take care of her all on my own, that I have such awesome responsibility for myself and another human and will, over the course of the next few days, prove myself worthy of it. I feel like doing all the fun stuff with her that my mom used to do with us when my dad was on business trips. Like spontaneous trips to the zoo, and breakfast food for dinner.
Of course, maybe that's just because I can smell pancakes cooking in a nearby apartment. Mmmmm. Right now there's nothing I'd like better in the world than for it to be Saturday morning, to be in the kitchen with my husband frying pancakes and making coffee together, with the whole day ahead of us. It can be raining - that increases the coziness. And on the pancakes we would have powdered sugar, and fresh blueberries, and whipped cream.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
The Questions
These are questions from an evening brainstorming session that seem to have no answers - at least none my husband and I could come up with, without getting off the sofa and doing any actual research.
1. People who live at high altitudes often have larger than average hearts and lungs. Why are these disadvantageous to living at lower altitudes?
2. Can nearsightedness be reversed by doing eye exercises, and if so how does it work? How can one prevent the development of myopia in the first place?
3. Why do women in Africa perpetuate female genital mutilation? They know first-hand how awful it is, yet they don't stop it, and in fact are responsible for continuing it.
4. Why is Harry Potter such a success?
5. Why do street lights wink out just as you pass under them?
6. How come it doesn't itch when you shave your legs, but it does itch when you shave some other parts of your body (that's as much as I'm going to say about that one)?
7. Are single mothers more likely to have daughters, because somehow their bodies "know" they are in a difficult position and that a daughter is slightly more likely to thrive than a son, so they favor the implantation of eggs fertilized by X-chromosome sperm?
8. Why are some people unable to accept animals' awareness of the world, to the point of denying that animals can even suffer or appreciate better conditions?
9. Why do people prefer political leaders who subscribe to belief in a higher supernatural power?
10. Why do women accept - even embrace - sexist and unfair codes of conduct in some societies? 11. Why do people feel attracted to the people that they do?
12. Is it true that UV radiation is worse on cloudy days, and if so, why?
13. Why are women more often cold than men, even though they have a higher percentage of body fat? Is the fat in "strategic" locations that do not efficiently insulate? Are manly muscles better at insulating or producing heat than fat? Do men burn more calories/kg?
14. Why are some doctors/nurses so mean to women who want a natural birth?
15. Is eye color regulated by more genes than skin color?
16. Why does acne persist beyond the teenage years? and why isn't it selected against so vigorously - acne-affected individuals failing to get dates or reproduce - that it would disappear?
17. Is there a universal standard of beauty?
18. Is Larry Summers right?
19. Why does labor have to hurt so much and be so risky? Why do some fetuses develop heads that are bigger than their mothers' pelvic openings (when before the advent of C-sections, they would have automatically died, and their mothers too)?
20. Is olive oil actively good for you, or just not as bad as other oils?
21. Are low light levels bad for your eyes, and if so why?
22. Why do some women get urinary tract infections and others never do?
23. Where do guys like Tony Cox get their motivation? (he's a vet who vigorously defends big corporations that use antibiotics routinely as growth promoters in animals, thus compromising the effectiveness of medical antibiotics in humans) Does he really believe use of antibiotics is necessary for farming to be profitable? Is he just prostituting his morals for money? Does he secretly know he's wrong but he's repressed that knowledge?
24. Why don't men want to have children? It's easy for them - and risky and resource-intensive for women - yet women are usually the ones pushing to have babies.
25. Why do women get emotional/social benefits from marriage and men don't (or don't think they do)?
26. If a child of British and American parents can have dual citizenship, and a child of Swedish and French parents can have dual citizenship, and those individuals marry, can their children have quadruple citizenship? Does it ever end, or can people collect citizenships without limit?
27. Why do I always get hiccups on Sunday nights?
28. How do you keep someone loving you forever?
1. People who live at high altitudes often have larger than average hearts and lungs. Why are these disadvantageous to living at lower altitudes?
2. Can nearsightedness be reversed by doing eye exercises, and if so how does it work? How can one prevent the development of myopia in the first place?
3. Why do women in Africa perpetuate female genital mutilation? They know first-hand how awful it is, yet they don't stop it, and in fact are responsible for continuing it.
4. Why is Harry Potter such a success?
5. Why do street lights wink out just as you pass under them?
6. How come it doesn't itch when you shave your legs, but it does itch when you shave some other parts of your body (that's as much as I'm going to say about that one)?
7. Are single mothers more likely to have daughters, because somehow their bodies "know" they are in a difficult position and that a daughter is slightly more likely to thrive than a son, so they favor the implantation of eggs fertilized by X-chromosome sperm?
8. Why are some people unable to accept animals' awareness of the world, to the point of denying that animals can even suffer or appreciate better conditions?
9. Why do people prefer political leaders who subscribe to belief in a higher supernatural power?
10. Why do women accept - even embrace - sexist and unfair codes of conduct in some societies? 11. Why do people feel attracted to the people that they do?
12. Is it true that UV radiation is worse on cloudy days, and if so, why?
13. Why are women more often cold than men, even though they have a higher percentage of body fat? Is the fat in "strategic" locations that do not efficiently insulate? Are manly muscles better at insulating or producing heat than fat? Do men burn more calories/kg?
14. Why are some doctors/nurses so mean to women who want a natural birth?
15. Is eye color regulated by more genes than skin color?
16. Why does acne persist beyond the teenage years? and why isn't it selected against so vigorously - acne-affected individuals failing to get dates or reproduce - that it would disappear?
17. Is there a universal standard of beauty?
18. Is Larry Summers right?
19. Why does labor have to hurt so much and be so risky? Why do some fetuses develop heads that are bigger than their mothers' pelvic openings (when before the advent of C-sections, they would have automatically died, and their mothers too)?
20. Is olive oil actively good for you, or just not as bad as other oils?
21. Are low light levels bad for your eyes, and if so why?
22. Why do some women get urinary tract infections and others never do?
23. Where do guys like Tony Cox get their motivation? (he's a vet who vigorously defends big corporations that use antibiotics routinely as growth promoters in animals, thus compromising the effectiveness of medical antibiotics in humans) Does he really believe use of antibiotics is necessary for farming to be profitable? Is he just prostituting his morals for money? Does he secretly know he's wrong but he's repressed that knowledge?
24. Why don't men want to have children? It's easy for them - and risky and resource-intensive for women - yet women are usually the ones pushing to have babies.
25. Why do women get emotional/social benefits from marriage and men don't (or don't think they do)?
26. If a child of British and American parents can have dual citizenship, and a child of Swedish and French parents can have dual citizenship, and those individuals marry, can their children have quadruple citizenship? Does it ever end, or can people collect citizenships without limit?
27. Why do I always get hiccups on Sunday nights?
28. How do you keep someone loving you forever?
Monday, February 23, 2009
Cold
It's been really cold here lately. The kind of cold where the wind starts blowing, hard, blasting into your face, and you wait for it to stop so you can take a breath - but it doesn't stop, it just keeps blowing and blowing, and finally you have to breathe anyway. It's so cold that I wonder how people in areas of the country that are famed for their chilly winters, like Minnesota and Wisconsin, even survive. And I especially wonder how people who lived before the advent of central heating survived. Here I am feeling sorry for myself because I have to be outside for, at most, an hour a day in order to commute and run errands. But I can be indoors in 65 degree comfort, with still air, the other 23 hours of the day. Before central heating people never got a break from the winter until springtime. The Jamestown settlers had to struggle through wearing winter clothes that were all homemade, not like the microfiber and insulated coats we have today. They had to work outside all day, live in unheated buildings, curl up to sleep in below-zero temperatures and wake up with snow on their quilts. Laura Ingalls Wilder describes going out for sleigh rides with her beau, in weather so cold the horses couldn't even stop running or they would freeze. How did people keep their spirits up? Either they were made of far, far stronger stuff than we are today - or they were so inured to discomfort, from earliest infancy, that it didn't seem so bad to them - or they were miserable but saw no point in complaining. I should follow their example.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Fear and Loathing
I have an unreasonable fear about sidewalk grates. I hate walking over them - the way cows and horses hate walking over grids - because I always picture the grate collapsing under me and falling into the cellar below. Has this ever happened, to anyone?
My other gripe of the day is that I hate getting ready for bed in the dark, which I always have to do because I'm always the last to come to bed. I tiptoe around getting undressed in the pitch blackness, barking my shin on furniture and trying not to curse. Half the time I can't find my night clothes and have to just crawl under the covers wearing underwear or nothing. Not being able to see, and having to guess where things like my glasses case and jewelry box are as I get ready for bed, really annoys me. I fumble around for them knocking stuff off the bookshelf and dresser top. We can't have a nightlight in the bedroom or it would keep the baby and my husband awake.
I think wistfully of TV land where couples get into bed with the lights on. They lie back on their pillows chatting about the day's events, instead of having to be quiet (for fear of waking the baby, whose crib is right next to the bed). They can lie in bed and turn off the lights when they're ready to sleep. What luxury! If we ever get our own bedroom with bedside tables and lamps and it's all ours, I will never forget to appreciate it.
My other gripe of the day is that I hate getting ready for bed in the dark, which I always have to do because I'm always the last to come to bed. I tiptoe around getting undressed in the pitch blackness, barking my shin on furniture and trying not to curse. Half the time I can't find my night clothes and have to just crawl under the covers wearing underwear or nothing. Not being able to see, and having to guess where things like my glasses case and jewelry box are as I get ready for bed, really annoys me. I fumble around for them knocking stuff off the bookshelf and dresser top. We can't have a nightlight in the bedroom or it would keep the baby and my husband awake.
I think wistfully of TV land where couples get into bed with the lights on. They lie back on their pillows chatting about the day's events, instead of having to be quiet (for fear of waking the baby, whose crib is right next to the bed). They can lie in bed and turn off the lights when they're ready to sleep. What luxury! If we ever get our own bedroom with bedside tables and lamps and it's all ours, I will never forget to appreciate it.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Read Read Read
One of my friends is a voracious reader. She's also really smart and great at literary analysis. Listening to her talk about books she's read (a huge variety of genres and authors) is like listening to a gourmet chef describe food. She has a way of explaining the premise in just such a way to whet your appetite without giving away what happens. Each title sounds juicier and more innovative than the last. I sit there thinking, "Yes! I want to read that too! Oh - I have to read everything that author has done, he sounds great!"
Then I go on one of my twice-weekly jaunts to the library and check out about 3 new books. The problem is that I don't have much time to spare for reading. I have periods of downtime each day, but I tend to burn them on crunches, or washing the dishes, or doing the crossword. I love reading, but I probably only read one book a week, which means that the unread books are piling up faster than I can dispose of them.
Right now, here's what I have sitting on my shelf:
Last Child in the Woods
Your Children Will Raise You: The Joys, Challenges, and Life Lessons of Motherhood
Ripening Seed (by Colette)
The End (the last in the Lemony Snicket series)
Love for Lydia
White Apples and the Taste of Stone (poetry)
Unpacking the Boxes
The Boat of Quiet Hours (also poetry)
Water for Elephants
The Extra Man
Love and Shadows
Smilla's Sense of Snow
Before the Dawn: Recovering the Lost History of Our Ancestors
Life Class
Silent Spring
Outgrowing the Earth
Winter World
I am excited to read all of these - actually I'm partway through about a dozen of them right now - but the list is a bit ridiculously long, is it not? At this rate, especially if I keep adding new books, I will never finish.
Then I go on one of my twice-weekly jaunts to the library and check out about 3 new books. The problem is that I don't have much time to spare for reading. I have periods of downtime each day, but I tend to burn them on crunches, or washing the dishes, or doing the crossword. I love reading, but I probably only read one book a week, which means that the unread books are piling up faster than I can dispose of them.
Right now, here's what I have sitting on my shelf:
Last Child in the Woods
Your Children Will Raise You: The Joys, Challenges, and Life Lessons of Motherhood
Ripening Seed (by Colette)
The End (the last in the Lemony Snicket series)
Love for Lydia
White Apples and the Taste of Stone (poetry)
Unpacking the Boxes
The Boat of Quiet Hours (also poetry)
Water for Elephants
The Extra Man
Love and Shadows
Smilla's Sense of Snow
Before the Dawn: Recovering the Lost History of Our Ancestors
Life Class
Silent Spring
Outgrowing the Earth
Winter World
I am excited to read all of these - actually I'm partway through about a dozen of them right now - but the list is a bit ridiculously long, is it not? At this rate, especially if I keep adding new books, I will never finish.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
You Get What You Pay For
Lately I have been trying to save money. I go to sometimes ridiculous lengths to save a few pennies here and there. I'm a bit myopic about investments - I know if I was informed and made the right decisions, I could save much more money that way. But I don't know how to do it. So I stick to things I understand, like buying in bulk at the grocery store when things go on sale, and walking a mile to avoid spending .35 on the bus. And, instead of buying new baby gear, I've been trying to get the clothes and stuff my daughter needs on Freecycle.
It's a little frustrating though. I wanted to get her a booster seat, for example, so she could have her meals sitting in an actual chair. I went to the baby store and found exactly the model I want. It costs $25 brand-new. Then I posted a "wanted" request on Freecycle and our neighborhood list-serve. I got a couple of responses, and, because I didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth and thought it was kind of them to donate their booster seats to a total stranger, told each of them that I would love to have the seat.
One day after work I went to pick up the first seat. The couple who had offered it lived in a big house in the ritzy neighborhood a couple miles from our apartment. I felt more than a little outclassed as I opened the iron gate and proceeded up the front walk, which was paved in flagstones and surrounded by acres of well-maintained lawn. When the husband answered the door, he was dressed in expensive casual clothes, had a nice haircut, etc. Behind him in the living room, a grand piano shone. He greeted me warmly and invited me in. As he went to fetch the booster seat from the back porch, I gazed around at the art on the walls, the vases of flowers on the mantel, and the warm Oriental rugs on the floors. There was classical music playing on the piano. His eight-year-old daughter capered around, showing me the cartwheels she had recently learned to do in gymnastics class. When he returned with the booster seat, I saw right away that it wasn't what I wanted. It was way too big, was an ugly gray color, and had a fussy tray that took a fair bit of strength to snap in place. It was also grimy from being outside the past few seasons. But I thanked him profusely, said how kind it was of him to give it away, and took it. Then I walked the two miles home carrying it.
A few days later I went to pick up the second booster seat. I figured I would keep whichever one was better, and give the other to Goodwill. I didn't meet the second giver; she left the seat in a bag on her front porch, so I just picked it up there. Again the house was gorgeous though, giant and surrounded by nice landscaping. Through the cut-glass window next to the front door I caught a glimpse of elegant newel post and curving banister, and a table in the hall with a lamp and a mirror hanging over it. When I looked in the bag, the seat was the same model as the one I'd wanted in the store. It was the right size and was a decent color (white with a green seat back). But again it was filthy, and the plastic was scratched and scuffed. And the tray was missing. I can't use it without a tray - what am I supposed to put her food on?
I don't know now which seat to keep. I feel like I went to a lot of trouble just to save $25. And I still don't have the booster seat I want. I also feel that the people who donated the seats exist on a completely different social plane from me. I should be grateful that they gave me the seats, right? Not grousing that they didn't even bother to clean them off before handing them to me. But I just wish I was in a place financially where I could feel comfortable going to the store and buying the thing I want. With Freecycle, you get it free but you also usually get crap.
It's a little frustrating though. I wanted to get her a booster seat, for example, so she could have her meals sitting in an actual chair. I went to the baby store and found exactly the model I want. It costs $25 brand-new. Then I posted a "wanted" request on Freecycle and our neighborhood list-serve. I got a couple of responses, and, because I didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth and thought it was kind of them to donate their booster seats to a total stranger, told each of them that I would love to have the seat.
One day after work I went to pick up the first seat. The couple who had offered it lived in a big house in the ritzy neighborhood a couple miles from our apartment. I felt more than a little outclassed as I opened the iron gate and proceeded up the front walk, which was paved in flagstones and surrounded by acres of well-maintained lawn. When the husband answered the door, he was dressed in expensive casual clothes, had a nice haircut, etc. Behind him in the living room, a grand piano shone. He greeted me warmly and invited me in. As he went to fetch the booster seat from the back porch, I gazed around at the art on the walls, the vases of flowers on the mantel, and the warm Oriental rugs on the floors. There was classical music playing on the piano. His eight-year-old daughter capered around, showing me the cartwheels she had recently learned to do in gymnastics class. When he returned with the booster seat, I saw right away that it wasn't what I wanted. It was way too big, was an ugly gray color, and had a fussy tray that took a fair bit of strength to snap in place. It was also grimy from being outside the past few seasons. But I thanked him profusely, said how kind it was of him to give it away, and took it. Then I walked the two miles home carrying it.
A few days later I went to pick up the second booster seat. I figured I would keep whichever one was better, and give the other to Goodwill. I didn't meet the second giver; she left the seat in a bag on her front porch, so I just picked it up there. Again the house was gorgeous though, giant and surrounded by nice landscaping. Through the cut-glass window next to the front door I caught a glimpse of elegant newel post and curving banister, and a table in the hall with a lamp and a mirror hanging over it. When I looked in the bag, the seat was the same model as the one I'd wanted in the store. It was the right size and was a decent color (white with a green seat back). But again it was filthy, and the plastic was scratched and scuffed. And the tray was missing. I can't use it without a tray - what am I supposed to put her food on?
I don't know now which seat to keep. I feel like I went to a lot of trouble just to save $25. And I still don't have the booster seat I want. I also feel that the people who donated the seats exist on a completely different social plane from me. I should be grateful that they gave me the seats, right? Not grousing that they didn't even bother to clean them off before handing them to me. But I just wish I was in a place financially where I could feel comfortable going to the store and buying the thing I want. With Freecycle, you get it free but you also usually get crap.
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